[jupiterreed]

but even silence carries a weight. maybe it has a voice, maybe it can be felt. depending on who u ask silence is a sore muscle & must be treated accordingly. i can’t just be silent. i want to go out that door & never come back. out into the night and find somewhere my feet don’t leave footprints and my words don’t stir the air. i don’t want to be heard. i don’t want to be seen. i don’t want to be loved. i don’t. Want. To be. anything at all. i don’t want to talk. not to u or anyone. i’m tired of talking and why do you think my skin’s starting to go blue? i want to touch the light that spills out of ur room on saturday mornings with my fingers. check under ur bed for monsters. i want to place a kiss to that crack on ur wall that u hate, the one u think looks like a mouth at night. i want to be a vampire. find something that Burns. because hell, at least burning is Feeling, something other than this lack of sun on my back. cold hands & nothing growing from my shadows. i dont want to Be here. i don’t know what to Do with my time anymore. i texted my ex best friend for fuck’s sake and he didn’t text me back. one night, i’m going to take off running. i’ll go north. i’ll find somewhere there are strawberry fields, somewhere it rains all summer long & the thought of u is just tv static. i want to fall asleep & never wake up.