pandemic
the LGBT “ally” makes an AIDs joke in class and
the first thing i think about is pandemics.
actually the first thing i think about is squeezing my hand around his neckbeardy throat
but for the sake of the poem
the first thing i think about is pandemics
and how it wasn’t until 1985 that ronald reagan acknowledged the aids crisis
by then five thousand men had died and hundreds of thousands were infected
by then half a generation of queer americans would be wiped out by 2000
their bodies emaciated and tired of pretending like someone would give a shit
you see, the HIV virus operates by turning its RNA into DNA by using the host cell
and staying there until something draws the virus out
you see, hate operates by turning innocent comments into hateful institutions
and staying there until something draws the hate out
in the classroom
in the city
in congress
in Chechnya. Did they kill the inmates by hanging them by their own DNA
in Orlando. did he imagine the bullets infecting their bodies like Ronald Reagan’s agenda would
in New York City. did they think the protests would end soon because they were all infected
do they think i won’t get mad when they make an AIDs joke because hate hasn’t infected me?
hate is a retrovirus
hate doesn’t go away after the bodies start piling
hate comes back no matter what drugs we’re taking
and the classroom laughs like homophobia ended two years ago.
you see, HIV doesn’t kill the body but leaves it open for something else to
you see, hate doesn’t kill the body but leaves it open for someone else to
the classroom
the city
congress
Now, the only difference between hate and AIDs is that AIDs requires someone to fuck me
but hate has fucked us over since before there was an infection
and the warning signs of a curable disease are everywhere
in this body we call America
Our bathrooms are the center stage of our rights to exist in public
our public offices see gay people as a constitutional crisis
our public health crises are seen as God’s will against the gays
Like when they thought the hurricane in Houston was God’s response to their lesbian mayor
or when a Colorado pastor said the wildfires in California was God’s revenge against the gays
now, I’m wondering if anyone else can see America’s ribcages jutting out of her chest.
We think we’ve been inoculated so the jokes we make are innocuous
until the disease starts showing up again
while I’ve been warning everyone that the fight is never over.
After gay marriage became constitutional, I think
the majority of Americans stopped swallowing the blue pill of history,
And then somebody drops an AIDs joke like a gay man’s body in the 1980s,
emaciated and tired, but still goddamned alive.
––– Sean Glatch